I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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