you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
