Tell her she can't have a vagina
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
