no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
