chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
