Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
