What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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