nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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