Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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