quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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