I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
