this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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