I seem to have left my pride at pride
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
