The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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