Dual....:-)
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
