It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry about my life...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
