do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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