I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
