New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
