you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
