her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My butt remains clenched, sir.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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