do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
