walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
