put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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