I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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