Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
