Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
