sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
