I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
