so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
