You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
