You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
