Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
