drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
