Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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