just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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