this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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