my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
