i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
