just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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