Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
