Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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