Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
