just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize