Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
im on a boat
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