I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
