I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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