Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
