okay pat passed out under dana's car
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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