In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
