party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
