He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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