Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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